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Remothered: Broken Porcelain Review – Fannibal Lecture

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“When the demon’s knocking on your door, you’ll still be staring down the floor.”

 

Well, October has come and gone with the speed of an incontinent cheetah, and the current world situation has left the spooky scenarios lacking. You can’t appreciate a horror film when you’re living in one that’s absolutely boring, and you can’t appreciate horror games when you’re playing the most dangerous one of all: life. Pretentious paragraph out of the way, Remothered: Broken Porcelain

 

This is the sequel to 2018’s Remothered: Tormented Fathers, a quaint but effective horror title masterminded by Italian game designer Chris Darril. Whereas Tormented Fathers had you playing as not-Clarice Starling, Broken Porcelain has you playing as not-Suzy Bannion, a meek but troublesome girl working at an inn. Spooky happenings occur as the hotel owners begin to become murderous, and soon enough, not-Suzy Bannion can’t trust anyone she sees.

 

An in-game screenshot of Remothered: Broken Porcelain, showcasing the player in the grips of an enemy.

 

If you haven’t played Tormented Fathers but like the look of Broken Porcelain, the game has an “ICYMI” video that provides the backdrop and context to the sequel. In short, just know that Tormented Fathers was a title that reached the heights of blisteringly okay. It wasn’t a horror title rewriting the rule book on what needs to be done for the genre, but there was enough going for it to generate interest and hype for the sequel.

 

Chris Darril has also stated that the Remothered property is intended to be a trilogy as well, which means there’s a giant overarching plot in this, and not just any plot. The thing about both current Remothered titles is that Darril not only wears his influences on his sleeves, he loudly proclaims the inspirations he’s about to wear. It’s a formula that you can spot beat-for-beat in Tormented Fathers, almost to a worryingly prophetic degree.

 

Bam! The Silence of The Lambs! Bam! Psycho! Bam! Deep Red! Bam! Halloween III! You get the point. While these influences were obvious if you paid enough attention, Tormented Fathers did succeed in feeling like its own idea, like its own property. It’s a benefit that carries on in Broken Porcelain, even if the opening of the game reeks of Suspiria and The Shining.

 

An in-game screenshot of Remothered: Broken Porcelain, showcasing the player character facing off against the Red Nun.

 

Even when Darril takes more directly from Western influences and runs with them, it’s the Giallo-inspired sections that work out great for them. In the context of Hannibal, an Argento-inspired piece works out wonderfully due to the juxtaposition and style of it all. Even though it’s not there visually, the one place Giallo films flourish in their aesthetic: you can taste it in the atmosphere.

 

It doesn’t ring in properly at first, since the game’s horror does seem to be entirely reliant on jumpscares. Even though the game’s atmosphere is ridiculously thick, the audio mixing is so bad that loud noises seem to permeate, no matter how well you tweak the audio options. Your ears will be bombarded with the sound of rushing winter wind, only for the game to scream violins and a scary face, expletive-filled and frothing with hatred.

 

Still, the threat would be a threat if the A.I. seemed to show consistency. Broken Porcelain

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The Suicide of Rachel Foster Review – Take the Stairs

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The Suicide of Rachel Foster deals with some heavy themes that require sensitivity on the part of the developer. Suicide and rape aren’t themes you toss around at the dinner table at your grandparents’ house. Not every story that deals with themes like these needs to be revolutionary, but they do need to be revelatory.

The developers at ONE-O-ONE Games have crafted a game that is bold and doesn’t overstay its welcome. Even so, there are a few points during the game that offer some frustration. So is The Suicide of Rachel Foster just another walking simulator or does it have something fresh to offer?

Tall Tale

The Suicide of Rachel Foster

The story of The Suicide of Rachel Foster centers primarily around Nicole, a woman whose relationship with her father molds much of who she is. Her father was a horrible person in many ways, some of which you’ll learn about as the narrative unfolds. Nicole has inherited a hotel from her father and decided to find a buyer.

She finds herself stuck on the property, alone, due to a blizzard. She has the support of her FEMA agent, Irving, with whom she communicates via an old phone. This is the stage for the narrative to unfold.

I’ll dive into a few of the themes and characters without diving too much into the details of the narrative. As mentioned before, The Suicide of Rachel Foster handles several themes that most creatives shy away from. I would say that the game does a decent job of presenting and dealing with them. It doesn’t make light of the molestation that happens and sets up an antagonist that is downright evil.

Nicole comes across as a bit too gullible throughout the story, which is explained as a product of her childhood traumas. My problem with her gullibility is the way in which she is presented, which is smart, astute, and capable. It’s almost as if the writers decided where the story would go without taking Nicole’s character into account. As the central character, this just doesn’t work. 

Irving is cheerful and does his best to assist Nicole whenever he can, even if he can’t be there in person. He’s a bit naive and becomes quite the likable character for Nicole to bounce her sarcasm off of as they converse.

If those sound like characters you’d like to explore, then this game will be worth your time. Not every narrative thread is earned by the end of the game, which is one of my biggest gripes with the narrative. There are too many shocking revelations in the story. This isn’t a negative for some narratives, but this isn’t that long of an experience; a longer game would have had the time to properly set the stage for the ending.

Back and Forth

The Suicide of Rachel Foster

You could categorize this game as a walking simulator, as you’ll spend a long time walking in the sizable hotel. Since the game’s narrative is primarily told through a cell phone, it requires Nicole to pick up the phone to chat. This means you’ll spend a long time pacing or standing still while the dialogue exchanges happen.

A better-designed game would have you do something while these conversations take place. Although the dialogue is mostly engaging,

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GoNNER 2 Review – Slippery People

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“Died to stay there, never have to leave there.”

 

It’s 2020, and it appears that roguelikes… well, they aren’t dying, but they sure seem like they’re slowing down. Once you’ve unsuccessfully tried to make Dark Souls into a roguelike — multiple times — the collective groans can be heard across the galaxy. Nevertheless, it’s time to come full circle, back to the “go big or go home” formula, and GoNNER 2 is indicative of that.

 

This is the latest game from Art in Heart and the sequel to the cutesy but brutal roguelike platformer, GoNNER. Once again published by the Devolver Digital of Devolver Digital, Raw Fury, the game follows the treks of the charismatic blob Ikk, who is seen doing dirty work for Death once more. Death’s home is being tormented by new threats, and she calls upon Ikk to clean up her house once more, a new cavalcade of visions awaiting them.

 

An in-game screenshot of GoNNER2, showcasing a burst of color coming from enemies exploding.

 

If you haven’t played the original GoNNER, it’s not exactly recommended for the sequel, unless you want to see the original vision. GoNNER 2 is more mechanically advanced, almost terrifyingly so, and everything, from the aesthetic to the music to the bosses, has seen tweaks and upgrades. On the surface, GoNNER 2 is almost thrice as big as its predecessor.

 

More guns! More heads! Fewer backpacks — no, wait. It’s all fairly obvious from when Ikk first plops into the grassy knoll of Death’s humble abode. The hub area is a perfect place to not only see what all your fancy pick-ups will be, but also get used to the new movement system in place. Should you be returning from Ikk’s original adventures, then this will certainly be a “ripping off the stabilizers” experience.

 

As opposed to the original’s limited left and right movement, with the wall-slidin’ and jumpin’ for good measure, GoNNER 2 has been given a tweak with directional aiming and dashing. It feels a lot more fluid, with gameplay and gunplay fusing brilliantly with it. Whereas the first GoNNER saw you outmatched in certain scenarios, the new movement and aiming system provide a fairer chance, with the aesthetic being the true challenge.

 

An in-game screenshot of GoNNER 2, showcasing Ikk sitting in the hub world next to upgrades.

 

Everything’s a lot fuzzier visually in GoNNER 2, and that’s a good thing. The tribal and plinky-plonky nature of the original GoNNER has now been replaced with warm hugs of bright blazes, smoother animations, and a beautiful display of combat. The game has kept its tempo-increasing combo system, with the upgrade being an immense flood of flat colors that radiate wonderfully as everything explodes. It’s DOOM: Eternal for people who take ambien.

 

It’s the collision of the gunplay and music which is GoNNER‘s unique trait, and it continues to be improved so much more in GoNNER 2. The new tracks from returning beat-maker Regular Graphics feel more claustrophobic, but the tracks don’t just increase in tempo as your combo gets higher. They form new landscapes of sound, the highlights being Pool Party, Blast from The Past, Tolu Mata, and The Granny Exorcism.

 

Still, when the ethereal bliss hits and the screen and sounds become a visual/auditory bliss, you wouldn’t be remiss to find yourself unable to …

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This is The Zodiac Speaking Review – Colin Fry

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**SPOILER/CONTENT ALERT! Plot elements of This is the Zodiac Speaking will be discussed here for the sake of critique. It also includes a description of the death of a young girl. If either of these factors are troubling, then please tread carefully while reading.**

 

“Come kill me, I seem so brittle.”

 

In 2006, a UK TV show called Psychic Private Eyes followed the adventures of three of the UK’s best psychics and ghost whisperers, deducing crimes by talking to the dead. Beyond a general lack of good intentions, the most horrific episode involved the trio attempting to solve the murder of a young girl. This results in the deduction that her remains were buried underneath another grave in an actual graveyard, with pesky human rights laws getting in the way of their vigilante work.

 

My point is that the art of being a medium, or believing to have some spiritual connection to the dead, is dubious at best and hideously offensive at worst. There’s a vulnerability to the bereaved that some find easy to manipulate, whether it be for the endgame of fame, power, or sick egotistical pleasure. It’s something that resonates in some capacity to a playthrough of This is the Zodiac Speaking, and whether that’s for better or worse? We’ll see.

 

An in-game screenshot of This is The Zodiac Speaking, showcasing a writers award.

 

This is the sophomore release from Polish developer Punch Punk Games, a video game rendition that depicts the murders of the Zodiac Killer. We play as Robert Hartnell, a potential nod to famous Zodiac obsessive Robert Graysmith, depicted by Jake Gyllenhaal in the 2007 film Zodiac. Mr. Hartnell attaches himself to the case in a rather unhealthy fashion, culminating in dream therapy sessions which see him not solving the mystery, but rather… I don’t know.

 

There’s an odd agency to This is the Zodiac Speaking, but it fluctuates and dissipates over time. The actual timeline of events regarding Robert’s story are unclear, and the game never explicitly states the impact he has on the chain of events. Given the actual historical context of the Zodiac Killer there’s a lot of fiction you could create, and This is the Zodiac Speaking certainly tries, but in a completely different direction than you’d expect.

 

For example there’s the murder of one Cheri Bates, which has been disputed profusely as a Zodiac killing. This is the first case Mr. Hartnell latches himself onto, which partially sets off a deep dive not just into Robert’s consciousness, but the work of the Zodiac Killer themselves. Why? Well, it’s complicated when it comes to the narrative, but in gameplay it’s a rather mundane affair.

 

An in-game screenshot of This is The Zodiac Speaking, showcasing a car park dimly lit.

 

This is the Zodiac Speaking not only has you inspecting crime scenes, but also locations where the Zodiac Killer is setting up for the main event. These locations are usually constructed from witness testimonials, with the dream therapist initiating the scene for you. From there, you begin to piece together the actions of the Zodiac Killer, but only one thing matters.

 

Despite what the game may imply, there’s no real detective work going on. Clues are merely optional choices for you to find, and the real puzzle is setting up the chronology of what happened when and where. It’s always four specific events,

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GORSD Review – Garth Offered Red Slippers, Dope

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“I hate that clown, but not as much as Mr. Far. I think I’ll go smoke a cigar.”

 

When it comes to learning a new skill, being thrown into the deep end is probably not the best strategy, especially if it involves teaching kids how to swim. A lack of context or a rudimentary understanding of the task at hand isn’t the best place to start, but when it’s an act of deliberation? Who knows, maybe it’s knowledge to a higher power, which is certainly what something like GORSD implies.

 

This is the latest title from Singapore studio Springloaded, a small team whose small catalog covers a lot of bases already. Whether it’s a casual auto-clicker, chiptune rhythm-action, or an RTS/Tower Defense-hybrid, you certainly can’t accuse Springloaded for sticking to one comfort zone. That thought goes tenfold when you see something like GORSD, and almost immediately, you’ll see what I mean.

 

An in-game screenshot of GORSD, showcasing three of the spherical dragons sticking their tongues out.

 

You play as a rather charming, little, squid-like creature who awakens in a forest that doesn’t seem hostile at first. Soon after, you’re subjected to an indecipherable language before the serene nature is immediately interrupted by abrasive gods taking the form of spherically-lined dragons with twisted faces. It’s quite clear they’re not impressed by your presence, and you’re going to have to work to either co-exist or defeat them.

 

Immediately, the game’s quite reminiscent of Anodyne; Analgesic’s dreamscape looks into a young being’s psyche, but the comparisons go beyond a similar aesthetic. That calming score that seems to pleasantly overthrow the atmosphere, the way your character is spoken to in potentially deserving condescension. It’s a coincidence, a stretch of the imagination, which is everything this game aspires to be.

 

There’s certainly a vibe that GORSD immediately wants to jump for, and that’s “weird”. With the spherical dragons screaming at you, the visual design being blared at full volume, and how the game plays— It’s clear that they’re trying to tickle the synapse we possess that powers curiosity. Whether it’s ParanoiascapeTamashii, or even the classic LSD Dream Emulator, there’s a market for oddities, especially if they’re trying on all fronts like GORSD is.

 

An in-game screenshot of GORSD, showcasing a upward spiral lined with red faces.

 

Does it extend past gameplay? Well, kind of. It’s a mixture of the Light-Cycle game from Tron, and the general objective of Splatoon. You and your adversaries are placed onto a lined grid, with the goal being to color in the entirety of the level with your color only. If the entire level is your color? You win, and curry more favor with these malevolent gods!

 

It’s not all Jeff Bridges meets schoolgirl squids, however, as trapping someone in your line of color doesn’t destroy them. You’re given a bullet you can fire only once until it hits an objective, whether it’s an enemy or a far-away piece of uncolored land you can’t reach. This bullet can also go around corners, should you press the direction of the upcoming corner as you fire it, which sounds strategic, but in execution, falls flat.

 

Considering this all relates to right angles and squares within squares, the arena design tends to become more and more complicated, with tactics taking a backseat

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GORSD Review – Garth Offered Red Slippers, Dope

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“I hate that clown, but not as much as Mr. Far. I think I’ll go smoke a cigar.”

 

When it comes to learning a new skill, being thrown into the deep end is probably not the best strategy, especially if it involves teaching kids how to swim. A lack of context or a rudimentary understanding of the task at hand isn’t the best place to start, but when it’s an act of deliberation? Who knows, maybe it’s knowledge to a higher power, which is certainly what something like GORSD implies.

 

This is the latest title from Singapore studio Springloaded, a small team whose small catalog covers a lot of bases already. Whether it’s a casual auto-clicker, chiptune rhythm-action, or an RTS/Tower Defense-hybrid, you certainly can’t accuse Springloaded for sticking to one comfort zone. That thought goes tenfold when you see something like GORSD, and almost immediately, you’ll see what I mean.

 

An in-game screenshot of GORSD, showcasing three of the spherical dragons sticking their tongues out.

 

You play as a rather charming, little, squid-like creature who awakens in a forest that doesn’t seem hostile at first. Soon after, you’re subjected to an indecipherable language before the serene nature is immediately interrupted by abrasive gods taking the form of spherically-lined dragons with twisted faces. It’s quite clear they’re not impressed by your presence, and you’re going to have to work to either co-exist or defeat them.

 

Immediately, the game’s quite reminiscent of Anodyne; Analgesic’s dreamscape looks into a young being’s psyche, but the comparisons go beyond a similar aesthetic. That calming score that seems to pleasantly overthrow the atmosphere, the way your character is spoken to in potentially deserving condescension. It’s a coincidence, a stretch of the imagination, which is everything this game aspires to be.

 

There’s certainly a vibe that GORSD immediately wants to jump for, and that’s “weird”. With the spherical dragons screaming at you, the visual design being blared at full volume, and how the game plays— It’s clear that they’re trying to tickle the synapse we possess that powers curiosity. Whether it’s ParanoiascapeTamashii, or even the classic LSD Dream Emulator, there’s a market for oddities, especially if they’re trying on all fronts like GORSD is.

 

An in-game screenshot of GORSD, showcasing a upward spiral lined with red faces.

 

Does it extend past gameplay? Well, kind of. It’s a mixture of the Light-Cycle game from Tron, and the general objective of Splatoon. You and your adversaries are placed onto a lined grid, with the goal being to color in the entirety of the level with your color only. If the entire level is your color? You win, and curry more favor with these malevolent gods!

 

It’s not all Jeff Bridges meets schoolgirl squids, however, as trapping someone in your line of color doesn’t destroy them. You’re given a bullet you can fire only once until it hits an objective, whether it’s an enemy or a far-away piece of uncolored land you can’t reach. This bullet can also go around corners, should you press the direction of the upcoming corner as you fire it, which sounds strategic, but in execution, falls flat.

 

Considering this all relates to right angles and squares within squares, the arena design tends to become more and more complicated, with tactics taking a backseat

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Steve and Alex From Minecraft Join Super Smash Bros Ultimate

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October has hit the ground running with this morning’s announcement that the latest downloadable characters for Super Smash Bros. Ultimate are… Steve and Alex from Minecraft! Nintendo have repeatedly smashed expectations with regards to Smash Ultimate DLC fighters, and today’s announcement continues their friendly relationship with Microsoft. A typically lively promotional video showed Mario’s misadventures in the pixelated Minecraft world, followed by Masahiro Sakurai joking about how difficult it was to implement these characters in Smash! It is indeed a remarkable feat seeing the pixel art inherent to Minecraft coexisting with Smash mechanics.

The attention paid to preserving Minecraft‘s appeal and reconciling it with the Smash Ultimate model expands beyond character design. There will also a full-on Minecraft themed stage, paying direct tribute to the game’s distinct visual palette. Crafting-based fighting techniques also mark uncharted territory for Smash Ultimate, and yet again show the effort invested in Smash Ultimate‘s longevity. As with past DLC packs, the imminent Minecraft challenger pack can be purchased for $5.99 giving you the characters, a new stage, and seven Minecraft music tracks. Fans can also gain access to all Smash Ultimate DLC characters future and past by purchasing the Fighter’s Pass for $30.

Masahiro Sakurai himself will be showing off Steve and Alex in Smash Ultimate on 10/3 at 10:30 AM ET, unfolding right before Minecraft Live. This event is also when the DLC’s release date will be announced. No matter how much of a labor it was to implement these characters into Smash, the fact that fans immediately lost their minds after the announcement shows that it was effort well spent. With today’s announcement, two worldwide phenomenons have united and who knows the limits of their power. The announcement might have even broken Twitter this morning.

 

 

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Bounty Battle Review – Ultra Mash Brothaz

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“I was walking on the ground, I didn’t make a sound. Then, I turned around, and I saw a clown.”

 

When it comes to fighting games, it’s always the indie scene that comes through with something truly enthralling to watch unfold. The janky physics-based action of Nidhogg 2, the pocket-sized fun of Rivals of Aether, or the infamous Skullgirls; there’s something about a mind free of restraints that brings wonderful energy to the screen. Better yet, why not go full M.U.G.E.N on a project and make an indie-game spectacle not unlike Super Smash Bros? Thank Christ for Bounty Battle, then.

 

This is the debut game from French studio Dark Screen Games, headed by one François von Orelli. Other information about the studio and its history is hard to come by, save for their upcoming game, Rise, and the publisher, Merge Games, who’re a perfect fit. Despite none of their indie game offerings showing up in Bounty Battle, it’s the eye they have in regards to their publishing catalog that holds promise.

 

An in-game screenshot of Bounty Battle, showcasing a versus screen of Owlboy vs the protagonist of Dead Cells

 

There’s no real plot, beyond a disruption in time allowing all of these indie game characters to fight against each other, and the roster is quite staggering. You’ve got Dead Cells, Flinthook, Darkest Dungeon, Guacamelee! — they even got Pankapu! It’s a 2010s dream come true, Superman vs Goku on the smaller screen! So if you’re wondering how powerful Fish from Nuclear Throne is against The Penitent One from Blasphemous, now’s your chance.

 

If there’s one thing that can be immediately applauded, it’s a diverse roster filled with a lot of charm, unique natures, and an eye for their abilities. Whether it’s Guacamelee!‘s Juan being able to throw further or Flinthook‘s Captain Flinthook using his… uhh… Flinthook to grapple onto enemies and into the fray, it’s all attention to detail. It makes you excited to see what kind of crazy antics one can get up to.

 

As stated above, the angle Dark Screen is going for with Bounty Battle is the ever-popular Super Smash Bros. format: small arenas, no barriers protecting the edges, up to 4 players, and a few trinkets added that can help turn the tide of battle. More arena brawler than one-on-one, the game has a fairly hefty tutorial attached to it to make sure you know how it is.

 

An in-game screenshot of Bounty Battle, showcasing the character select screen.

 

It’s your standard affair, what with the light attack, heavy attack, slam attack, block, grab, and ultimates. Bounty Battle‘s main gimmicks seem to be related to, well, Bounties, a system that rewards players for unique combos or eliminating the best player in the arena. These Bounty points can be used to buy support characters that can… I don’t know, actually.

 

In theory, it sounds like a good idea, but it seems to mostly relate to eliminating the MVP, and with the washed-out colors, that’s an issue. A lot of the guest characters from other franchises have been redrawn in order to accommodate with aesthetic Bounty Battle provides, but they’ve been drawn to look the same. The arenas are also awash in darkness, so trying to pay attention to what’s actually …

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Nier Replicant Remastered Releases April 2021

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With Nier: Automata raising the franchise’s profile immensely, it only makes sense that its predecessor would gain a second life. Square Enix is turning this wish into a reality with the impending release of Nier Replicant ver. 1.22474487139…, a remaster of the original Nier that started it all. Upon its initial release in 2010, Nier built a small but passionate fanbase for its vivid worldbuilding, hindered by some homely visual design. This makes the game a perfect candidate for a remaster, whose sweeping graphical improvements will no doubt introduce the game to some new fans. As the cherry on top, Nier Replicant will also boast some newly illustrated characters and a re-recorded soundtrack.

 

The game is set to release for PS4, Xbox One, and PC on April 23rd, 2021 with a lofty collector’s edition exclusively sold at the Square Enix Store. This will include a two-disc soundtrack CD set, a seven-book script set, some character-themed pin badges, and a stylized steelbook case. Outside of the collector’s edition, all preordered editions of Nier Replicant will still contain digital copies of selections from the game’s soundtrack, not to mention a game that is substantial in its own right. Given that Nier Replicant takes place four thousand years before Nier: Automata, there are major aesthetic differences between each game that may surprise newcomers. For those who have only played Nier: Automata, the Nier experience is made complete by playing both games, making Nier Replicant worth any fan’s while.

 

Promotional image of Nier Replicant displaying the contents of the game's collector's edition

Image courtesy of Square Enix

 

More than ten years after Nier‘s original release, it will be a pleasure to return to a fully remastered version. Nier matches its cerebral storytelling with daring gameplay variety moving from hack-and-slash to bullet-hell in ways no other game has matched. As one of the first announcements made at this year’s Tokyo Game Show, the exhibition is already off to a lively start.

 

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Crysis Remastered Review – Mid-Life

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“Picture this, if I could make the change, I’d love to pull the wires from the wall. Did you?”

 

Truth be told, I’ve never owned a PC built specifically for gaming. Funds always go to that part of life that allows you to continue living, but close friends of mine throughout the years have had the opportunity. I’ll always remember seeing Crysis run on my friend’s £2,000 rig in 2008, at a time when I was still playing GoldenEye and Mission: Impossible on the N64. I’m grateful for Crytek allowing me the opportunity to see if I can make those same sparks fly 13 years later with Crysis Remastered.

 

Yes, the groundbreaking technical achievement of the late 2000s has been ushered into a new age for current-gen consoles in 2020. Crytek’s second baby that was meant to be a showcase of their brand-spankin’-new engine, the first one being Far Cry, but it was Crysis that saw unmatched memetic energy. This is something that Crytek still smugly know, as they talk the talk in terms of hashtags like “#CanItRunCrysis”, but that was 13 years ago. Do they still walk the walk?

 

An in-game screenshot of Crysis Remastered, se player sneaking behind an enemy at night-time.howcasing th

 

The year is 2020, both at time of writing and in-game, just in case this year wasn’t already cursed enough, and you play as Nomad, a lieutenant for Raptor Team. Together with Prophet, Psycho, Jester, and Aztec, Raptor Team hot-drops onto an uncharted island that’s being occupied by the Korean military with unusual energy readings being intercepted. With the American forces doing what they do best by sticking their nose into other people’s business, both entities stumble across a presence neither could’ve predicted.

 

Before we delve into critique, it should be noted that the track record for CryEngine being used on console ports isn’t exactly healthy. We saw Sonic Boom: Rise of Lyric on Wii U, along with the infamous console port of Lichdom: Battlemage, and Homefront: The Revolution. While this is the equivalent of 3 birds defecating on your Ford Focus before work, this has to be a case of developers not knowing what they’re dealing with. I say that with such confidence because the 360/PS3 ports of Crysis from 2011 are great!

 

Well, not great, but competent! They’re locked at 30 FPS, sure, and the foliage pop-in is about 10 meters in front of your face. However, the performance of the game was consistent! Intense action and smart AI dominate the scene, and all without making your console sound like a Boeing 747. Whether it’s a regular Xbox 360 or an Xbox One S via backwards compatibility, Crysis is a job well done on all accounts, so I have just one question, Crytek: What the hell happened with this actual remaster?

 

An in-game screenshot of Crysis Remastered, showcasing a dead body lying on the ground.

 

Crysis Remastered on this same Xbox One S doesn’t just run worse, it looks worse. Texture pop-in is common, frame rate drops happen anytime a single bullet is fired, the draw distance casts the land in an awkward fog, and that’s just the tip. It’s almost reprehensible a title known universally for ritualistic benchmarking looks like it’s running on a school computer with Windows Vista.

 

Insult to injury is added when these technical glitches

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