The blue blur Sonic may have gotten a second chance with his overhauled movie, but what about Sanic? For all those that are (morbidly) curious, Bmc Studios is taking on Paramount Pictures with their FMV title Sanic the Hawtdawg: Da Movie. Does this self-professed bootleg have the same charm as the worldwide videogame phenomenon?
Sanic the Hawtdawg: Da Movie Review
Taking place in New York, Princess Peach (who claims she’s from Halo to avoid copyright lawyers) comes across a rocketship that contains Sanic the Hawtdawg. With this strange creature now on earth, these two spend some quality time in their suburban area, playing with their dog and having nonsensical adventures together.
If this sounds like it lacks focus, that’s because it does. Absolutely nothing in this game makes sense – there is no rhyme or reason as to what goes on. One moment has Sanic cooking a picture of a hotdog with a picture of a lighter, while another has the two taking a race on a deserted street.
This is made that much more confusing with the scarce choices players will make in the game. There are times where two of the choices lead to the same result, but other moments make no sense whatsoever. Once particularly odd decision had the choices “eggs,” “potato,” and “smell” – the smell option seemed to be the least odd of the three, but it led to a random moment with the two characters smelling a tripod.
The poor acting makes things that much worse. Bad acting has its place when it is unintentional – just look at Birdemic or The Room. However, these two are in on the joke, script in hand. There are often times where both Sanic and Peach will laugh midway through their lines, and other moments where they just throw in words like “oof” and “yeet” for no particular reason. Jokes (if you can call them that) are played out far longer than they have any right to, with extreme closeups and a “Who’s on first” element with select scenes. When all else fails, awkward dancing and movements are thrown in to make the best of the given situation. It’s telling when the tiny dog that intrudes into every scene is the best actor of the lot.
You can’t just blame the poor script and acting for the poor quality of Sanic the Hawtdawg: Da Movie – the lack of budget deserves credit as well. Peach’s costume is made up of paper and packing tape, while Sanic is wearing a onesie and some tinfoil. Drawings done in Microsoft Paint make up key elements, and painted eggs are about as fancy as the development team went. There is a VHS filter in place to mask these elements, but this can be turned off as a “bonus” for completing the game.
Sanic the Hawtdawg: Da Movie is an ironic game that takes a single joke and runs it into the ground. There are absolutely no redeeming qualities to this FMV title, and even fans of bad movies will quickly retreat to those box office bombs.
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